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Purchase now from www.alternativestores.com.

The Cheese of Dreams

I honestly don't know how to begin to describe my fondness for No Muh cheese made by the vegan company Vegusto. My initial reaction was not suitable for general audiences, such was its emphatically-positive and profanity-laden content; so, for the purposes of this review, I will attempt to express my unbridled enthusiasm in much more genteel terms. Made in Switzerland (arguably, the axis of Cheeseville), No Muh is available from our friends at Alternativestores.com in myriad flavours from mellow to sharp. Here's a quick look: Classic, Walnut, Squares, Melty, Mildly Aromatic, Piquant and Herb. Office favourites were clearly the Piquant (a firmer - and, as the name would suggest, sharper - offering) and the Mildly Aromatic (a lovely, soft-but-still-sliceable hunk of heaven). These are both perfectly suited for pairing up with grapes, wine and either crackers or a crusty, rustic loaf. Bonus points: Mildly Aromatic on toast. It browned, it bubbled, it stole my heart. Away from prying eyes, my husband and I tried the Melty in burritos and on sandwiches, but it was full-flavoured and smooth-textured enough to eat - and enjoy - on its own. Although it's been over two decades since either of us has eaten animal cheese, we were united in our assessment that the Melty is spookily reminiscent of Dairylea. As there's nothing of animal origin herein, however, we weren't put off. My omnivorous roller derby teammates were also unanimous in their praise for the Mildly Aromatic and proclaimed it 'just like cheese'. The Herb is delicately-flavoured when eaten neat. Melt it in a sandwich, on a pizza or in a lasagna and it just sings! Ranging in price from £3.25 for the squares to £4.70 for the rest of the range (and weighing in at just over 200g), No Muh is ready to be devoured. Did I mention that it's soya-free? Now, how long until the addiction clinics spring up?